Involving your guests in your wedding
Date: May 13, 2010 11:52 AM
Undoubtedly, your wedding should be all about, well, you! You’ve planned for months, dealing with florists, photographers, reception halls, and dress boutiques. Things are starting to fall into place regarding the big day, and you should be nothing less than psyched! But, there are ways to make your guests all feel like an irreplaceable part of your wedding as well. After all, you want your guests to be talking about this day for some time, and to remember it as nothing less than a total blast! When planning, think about things you would want to do and receive as a wedding guest. Especially when people are coming from out of town: spending money on travel, missing other social, family, and work events to celebrate your special day with you, it’s important to show appreciation and let them know how grateful you are. Of course, you and your soon-to-be spouse are going to be extremely busy. You cannot be expected to personally thank each and every person individually, however hard you might try. But, if you take enough time beforehand planning how you can make the guests feel as if they’re truly being included in every aspect of the wedding, then during the actual celebration, you’ll feel stress-free knowing you’ve made each person want the weekend’s festivities to go on forever!
From the hotel you’ve chosen to house your family and friends to the actual main event, there are all types of tokens of appreciation you can plan and include for your guests. Start by having a “guest appreciation package” waiting for each person at check-in. Make sure you have a bag for each person and not just each room. You may even want to make the goodies even more personalized by making separate packages for the men and women. Are there going to be children? A kids themed bag is also a great idea. After all, the more occupied they are during the weekend, the better it will be for everyone!
Are you getting married in your home town? If so, take some time to write up something about your favorite places to go in the area and some of your favorite restaurants, parks, shops, and whatever else might make your town special. Does it have historical significance? Tell about it. Did you and your significant other meet there? Let your guests in on the story. If it’s a destination wedding, go online and print out some information you feel is relevant and will benefit your guests, and go to the visitors center and pick up some brochures. Make copies and have the front desk distribute them at check-in.
Staying at the hotel with your guests during the entire weekend is a nice gesture. It allows them to see more of you and will make them feel as if they are sharing the experience with you rather than just attending an event. If you are having a rehearsal dinner with only your bridal party, then afterwards, spread the word that everyone, not just the bridal party, will be invited to meet at the hotel bar for drinks. Try to keep it on the early side though, as you’ll be tired and need to rack up as many hours of sleep as possible.
Now comes the big day. From ceremony to reception, everyone should be having a great time celebrating. It should feel more like Tony and Tina’s wedding (without the humiliation and drama, of course) and less like a royal, uptight gala where everyone watches from afar. The more everyone feels included, the more inclined people will feel to get up and dance, which will ultimately add tons of energy and fun to the celebration.
First off, the ceremony. It’s easy for guests to feel lost and out of place in a house of worship, or in an environment that’s religiously or spiritually based on ideas that are different from their own. This doesn’t mean that people can’t appreciate and enjoy the rituals of your wedding (if you’ve decided to include any). Providing a pamphlet or brochure that explains each of these practices will help each guest feel more involved and less like an outsider. Also, take this opportunity to write a little blurb about each of the people in your bridal party. Did one of these men or women introduce you and your fiance? Is one a lifelong friend? Or maybe there’s a college roommate. These are things that your guests will be interested to know. Plus, it will give everyone something to do if the priest or Rabbi goes on just a little too long...and we’ve all been in that situation before!
Once you’ve said your “I do’s”, your guests are going to want to shower you with love, and whatever else you give them to throw at you. Choose some people, maybe a few nieces and nephews to hand out a small package of sesame seeds to each person. Bubbles are also nice to blow while you’re walking out, and it doesn’t leave a mess!
Lastly, forget the guestbook. Are you really ever going to care that these people all signed a book? Probably not. But, you can get something way more useful from them. Pass around a pretty journal during the reception for each guest to write in. On the first page, give them some direction by asking a question. Do you want them to provide their best piece of marital advice? Their favorite memory of the bride or groom? The story of how they met their significant other? Whatever the information, you’ll have fun reading it while on your honeymoon, and hopefully for years to come. On the other hand, hopefully you’ve left your guests with great memories, some fun favors, and feeling happy that they ultimately decided to stick that extra cash in your gift envelope! Now that’s a reason to celebrate.
